Elon Musk by Walter Isaacson

A Psychological Book Review Series

STRESSBUSINESSPTSDBOOK REVIEWS

Emil Barna

10/23/20246 min read

I recently finished reading Walter Isaacson's biography on Elon Musk.

Here are my (scattered) thoughts...

According to the story, Musk's been through a lot. His father, Errol Musk, is portrayed as highly narcissistic, seeing his kids only through a lens of how they reflected him. At one point in the story, Musk's father forces him to stand to attention as he berated him for well over an hour. Musk was beaten up at school close to an inch of his life. But, to Errol, it was Musk's fault.

Musk was bullied mercilessly throughout his life because he seemed to call things out the way he saw them. He didn't pick up on many of the nuances of social interactions, so had no issues calling people (and their ideas) "stupid." When Musk was young, he was called "retard" by a teacher. His teacher couldn't understand why, in class, he'd stare out of the window the entire lesson and, when asked what he was doing, responded with, "The leaves are turning brown." In an act of (one might say) self-interested grace, when Errol was called into the school and told of Musk's daydreaming tendencies, he responded with, "Well, they are turning brown, aren't they?"

Musk was no sheltered boy. He didn't grow up rich, nor particularly well off. And he was surrounded by the violent trauma that came hand-in-glove with Apartheid South Africa at the time. Musk recalls wading through the sticky blood of a man lying dead on the street with a knife sticking out of his skull. And his life at home, witnessing the abuse of his mother, Maye, at the hands of his father, wasn't easy to take. Unsurprisingly, these experiences influenced the man he is today.

His ability to read social cues as he grew older didn't get much better. This got him in trouble. People didn't always want to be around him because he had no qualms about being politically (and socially) incorrect. He wasn't scared of telling the bigger kids what he thought. You see this even now. This didn't win him friends. "It's a big theme for him to never have his decisions guided by fear," says Isaacson.

During his teens, he read. A lot. Must loved immersing himself in books and used them as an escape. Science fiction was king. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy got him through a deep "existential depression" prompted by his isolation and his reading of Nietzsche. His advice: Don't read these German existential philosophers as a teen; they'll put you deeper into your depression.

A paradox: Elon became almost as unpredictable as his father. He disliked his father but couldn't seem to escape his personality, especially when looking at himself in the mirror. But he was, too, worlds apart from his dad. Errol doubted Elon. He once told him he'd "never be successful" if he decided to move away from South Africa. Others would later reflect that the PTSD of his past led him towards "an aversion to contentment" - a theme that crops up over and over in the book, and his life. In particular, his business. "Adversity shaped me" says Musk. This adversity, often putting him on edge, pushed a button in his brain where his body was constantly in stress mode, where he is driven by adrenaline and pressure to—Keep. Moving. Forward. "Over the years, whenever he was in a dark place or felt threatened, it took him back to the horrors of being bullied..." Isaacson says.

Another
paradox: Musk craves closeness—he's no unfeeling stoic. No alien. He is, in fact, often described as one of the most emotional people those close to him know. But as a kid, he was lonely. Very lonely. His brother, Kimbal, a close comfort. They got up lots of mischief. A memorable account in the book: They put firecrackers in the cigarette of the boyfriend of their mother, who they didn't like. The man lit the smoke and—BANG!—the cigarette went bye-bye. And the kids giggled in their hiding place.

Musk's mother, Maye, worked hard—very hard—to provide for her kids. All this alongside putting up with Errol's abuse. She fled the relationship to give her kids a better life and worked multiple jobs to provide.

Reflecting on Canada: "I was used to South Africa, where people will just rob and kill you. So I slept on my backpack until I realised that not everyone was a murderer." Again, Musk was socially awkward on his move and often kept to himself reading. Later romantic relationships required an edge. Again, he liked to be kept on his toes. He thrived under pressure and this carried on to his relationships. unfortunately, this often meant others wouldn't stick by too long—they weren't overly keen to go on his ride with him. One of his partners said this about him: "Musk can feel strongly and be emotionally needy ... what he lacks in daily intimacy he makes up for in intensity." "When he's angry, he's angry, and when he's joyful, he's joyful, and he's almost childlike in his enthusiasm ... he feels things in a very pure way, with a depth that most people don't get." On balancing work and family: "At times he treated the rest of his life as an ..."unpleasant distraction." "The sheer amount of time that I spent at work," Musk says, "was so extreme that any relationship was very difficult to maintain."

This brings us to work-life balance, a concept that makes him giggle. For Musk, if you're into something you must give it your 100% Sleep? Who needs it? It wasn't as much about money as it was about achieving what he's set his mind to. Money? That'll come. His work ethic? "Why'd we got to so that?" It's his go-to question. "All requirements," thinks Musk, "should be treated as recommendations ... The only immutable ones were those decreed by the laws of physics." Now this, I like for it has implications in the therapeutic field. So often therapists go with 'guidelines' and 'rules' when they're better off developing core principles and adapting them to the situation. If more therapists took that mindset, we'd have better, more effective therapies for the person before us. But I digress. Let's get back to Musk where a "maniacal sense of urgency is [his] operating principle."

Something interesting I found: The Marvel film Iron Man is loosely based on Musk's character. In getting into character, Robert Downey Jr attended the SpaceX factory in awe. And you can kind of see where he's coming from when you see Iron Man.

Some describe Musk as "not a very nice person," said that he "didn't treat people well," was "a bully" and could be farily "brutal." BUT, it was also said: "Maybe if the price the world pays for this kind of accomplishment is a read asshole doing it, well, it's probably a price worth paying."

On stress: "Musk awoke with stomach pains, which was not unusual. He can pretend to like stress, but his stomach can't." In therapy, this is something I see often. We call it the psychosomatic impacts of chronic stress. Often those who try to disconnect from their body experience these somatic symptoms. You can only disconnect for so long. Eventually, your body will make its needs known. How does Musk manage stress? He "throws himself into his work, maniacally." One could argue he regulates, in part, by disregulating others. On lashing out at juniors making mistakes: "By trying to be nice to people, you're actually not being nice to the dozens of other people who are doing their jobs well and will get hurt if I don't fix the problem spots." It's a reasonable thought.

I've never really followed Musk closely, historically, so the following was news to me: He dated Amber Hear. "Musk was not bred for domestic tranquillity," Isaacson said. And his relationship with Heard proves this. It was intense. She wasn't liked by many in Musk's circle and this fanned the flames of discontent in the relationship. After Johnny Depp, Heard took to Musk like fuel to fire. And he, being who he was, took to her in much the same way.

Now, let's dive into Musk's business algorithm:

- Question every requirement.
- Delete what you can.
- Simplify.
- Accelerate.
- Automate.

And these are his corollaries:

- Hands-on experience is vital.
- Comradery is dangerous.
- It's OK to be wrong.
- Don't ask people to do what you're not willing.
- If problems arise, meet with the level below your managers.
- Look for attitude in interviews, not skills.
- The only rules are those found in physics.

The next point is powerful and I want to rest on it for a bit: Musk sees good times as "unsettling." I see this sentiment over and again in those who've been hurt most. To relax, to accept someone else's apology, to say sorry, to chill—all this opens you up to being hurt. The message? DON'T RELAX. Keep a tight ship. Regulate by keeping busy ... until you burn out. That's it. "He's attracted to chaotic evil," says Grimes. "It's about his father" Again. Our ancient demons haunt us, unless we take the reins. "He associates love with... being mean or abusive." And he just doesn't stop. He keeps busy, and it comes full circle. He feels alive when under intense pressure and stress and this sometimes means stirring up drama and accepting the intensity that goes along with it. If you feel dead inside (not that I'm saying Musk does, but this is often something I see in my own clinical work), you embrace chaos if only to feel more alive. If you're "no longer in a survive-or-die mode [...] "it's not that easy to get motivated every day."

Musk is, on balance, a complicated character. Psychologically traumatised yet driven by that trauma away from safety and towards chaos in order to feel 'alive.' This helps him get things done.

Again and again.

And again.