2024: A Year In Books

I often think about how we're all a conglomerate of the things we've seen and experienced and thought about throughout our lives. The things that have happened to us, the things we've done, the movies we've watched, the books we've read, the careers we've chosen, the trips we've been on—they're what make us who we are. It's not our thinking that makes us; not really—it's what we do. There's a maxim I often teach others goes like this: "You are not what you think, you are not what you feel, you are not what you say, you become what you do." And there's nothing more influential in a book lover's heart, nothing more influential in guiding him to the things he does, than the books he reads.

2024 was a big year for me in books—in all, I read (and/or listened) to a total of 48 books.

That's a lot for me, sure, perhaps for you too, but it barely scratches the surface of what others consume yearly. The people I admire blow through books like it's nothing, and I draw a lot from these people (some of which you'll see I include in the list below). This year, I wanted to give you a brief glimpse into the books I've read because I think, whether you're a client or colleague or just an interested person, seeing where my mind was at during 2024 and the kinds of works I consumed will give you a brief window into my state of mind and thought, what I draw from in the writing of my own books, what I bring into the therapy session to conceptualise the person before me.

What you'll see below will be the title, a brief description of what stood out for me, plus quotes from the book. They appear in the sequence of when they were read. I hope you find it helpful.

And thanks so much for taking the time to read.

Blood Meridian
by Cormac McCarthy (354 pages)

I can't remember which episode of the Jocko Podcast pointed me in the direction of McCarthy, but it was a quote Jocko used that piqued my interest: "It makes no difference what men think of war, said the judge. War endures. As well ask men what they think of stone. War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner. That is the way it was and will be. That way and not some other way." Powerful. It got me thinking to the state of Man and how man lives alongside a perpetual state of war. This book, following the story of a young boy picked up by a gang of scalpers and sociopaths in the 1800s carries many notable quotes (some, too, that I've included in my book, not yet published, on the history of trauma) keeps you twisting the pages. But I can't recall exactly what happens. To be honest, McCarthy's other books I liked much more than this, but if you're in the mood for a bloody gruesome ride, pick this up. It's one of his classics.

The Road
by Cormac McCarthy (307 pages)

I think it might've been in one of Ryan Holiday's emails that I was reminded of this book—he called it one of the best parenting books available. I'd read it once before back in 2020, but this time I approached it with fresh eyes. There are no chapters, just paragraphs reading kind of like journal entries, but describing the journey of a man and his son towards the beach after an apocalyptic event. And Holiday sure gets it right with the parenting element—it reflects the lengths the father goes to protect and teach his young son how to survive. I'm not sure if a mother would get as much as a father would out of this read, but I was blown away. It's an emotional ride and carries McCarthy's typical narrative style, lack of punctuation, and is an easy (yet dark) read. One quote that stands out: "When your dreams are of some world that never was or some world that never will be and you are happy again then you will have given up. Do you understand? And you cant give up. I wont let you."

Fast Like a Girl
by Dr. Mindy Pels (audiobook)

To be honest, this book is best summarised by the following PDF. I listened to this book after my wife recommended it (she found out about Dr. Pels after listening to the Diary of a CEO episode where Pels was interviewed about fasting—highly recommended) and found it's not just for women! The book, though aimed at women because it advocates different fasting styles depending on a woman's cycle, is highly relevant to men. One thing this book (and her episode on DOAC) gave me was a deep appreciation of women's monthly cycles and how complex they can be, AND how fasting can improve the experience. It gave me a heck of a lot more compassion and understanding, especially since this isn't something men are taught. I'd recommend listening to the podcast episode first and see whether she's right for you. Then, check out The Glucose Goddess's episode on DOAC to compliment this one. The most practical takeaways for me was that I paced the way I ate, ate certain foods before others (because the body processes foods differently based on the order they come in) and fasted more intentionally. Highly recommended!

You Are The Placebo
by Dr. Joe Dispenza (304 pages)

Man, this book... Highly readable, great focus on research, and a huge emphasis on the placebo effect (basically, that your expectations can determine the way your brain experiences that world and how your body reacts, even to the point of illness and healing). Dospenza does a good job at showcasing a whole body of research that looks at expectations and outcomes. He also talks about the nocebo effect and how negative expectations impact the brain and body. Lots of stories, anecdotes, and research to draw from and make up your own mind. Unlike his other books, this one reads less 'new agey' and carries concepts most of us can apply to our lives. Take it as it comes, I say. Apply a critical lens and see what you think. At the end of the books, there are a bunch of meditations that help inform the philosophy and make it practical. Here's a quote: "The moment you notice a change in your inner environment, you pay attention to what was in your outer environment that caused the change [...] We think somewhere between 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts in one day, and 90 percent of those thoughts are exactly the same ones we had the day before." This book helped me communicate to my clients the hope for change through intention. Plus, it helped me distinguish between brain waves in a way that makes sense! (Gamma, Beta, Alpha, Theta, Delta) But mostly, it helped conceptualise how past experiences lead to thoughts and feelings. These lead to attitudes about the thing. Your attitude leads to the beliefs you have and these beliefs lead to what you perceive through your senses (perceptions). Perceptions lead to actions and actions have consequences.

Internal Family Systems Therapy (2nd edition)
by Richard Schwartz & Martha Sweezy (304 pages)

Over the past few years I've been getting more and more involved in IFS therapy. It makes sense. It's effective. And it's one of those therapies that most clients gravitate to without any difficulty. IFS (I call it 'parts therapy') helps you understand who you are and how your personality structure developed and is expressed. It doesn't seek to propose a new theory of personality (like the 5 factor model) per se, but helps you understand yourself at a practical level. It helps you notice there are parts of you that are proactive, reactive, and exiled (i.e., pushed down, ignored, dissociated). It also adopts the idea that at your core, there's a Self, a soul, a 'wise mind' that can see these parts and heal them (instead of see through these parts' eyes and be controlled by them). This book is well-written, easy to read (unlike many other therapy books that are filled with jargon), and super practical. It's written for therapists, though, so unless you've got an interest in this area, give it a miss.

On The Shortness Of Life
by Seneca (106 pages)

A short book on appreciating life through the philosophy of stoicism as told by a guy who died almost two thousand years ago. This book is jam-packed with quotable wisdom and you'll want to take a seat and whip out a pen (or highlighter) as you read through it. It speaks to how life is short and how one ought to grasp it by the you know what in order to look back on a life well-lived. I feel like it could be read in conjunction with the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes (one of my favourite books of the Hebrew Bible). The writer there, too, contemplates life and goes away with the idea that no matter how much you do, everything is like smoke (some translations read "meaningless"), a chasing after the wind. Here are a few quotes from Seneca's work that stood out to me: "You are living as if destined to live for ever; your own frailty never occurs to you; you don't notice how much time has already passed, but squander it as though you have a full and overflowing supply - though all the while that very day which you are devoting to somebody or something may be your last" "How late is it to begin really to live just when life must end!" "From this arises the state of mind of those who loathe their own leisure and complain that they have nothing to do, and the bitterest envy at the promotion of others. For unproductive idleness nurtures malice, and because they themselves could not prosper they want everyone else to be ruined." "the performer must always be stronger than his task: loads that are too heavy for the bearer are bound to overwhelm him." "You must set your hands to tasks which you can finish or at least hope to finish, and avoid those which get bigger as you proceed and do not cease where you had intended." I could go on, yes, but you get the point. This is a book of wisdom to be read by all at least once. Get on it. Good.

Stella Maris
by Cormac McCarthy (190 pages)

Again, this is McCarthy at his best. The writing style is genuine, and immersive. And it's only a transcript! Basically, he's written it to be a conversation between Stella and her shrink. The way it's written is conversational with nothing else. No commentary, no quotation marks, nothing. Pure dialogue. And it's so engrossing. And, as I like it, short! Can't say I enjoyed the sequel (or prequel, despite it being published after)—I couldn't get through the whole book. But this one tracks the inner psychology of a disturbed prodigy who has a thing for her brother. I know. Disturbing. A few lines from this book stand out for me: "If you are sane enough to know that you're crazy then you're not as crazy as if you thought you were sane." On nightmares: "You wake from a nightmare with a certain relief. But that doesnt erase it. It's always there. Even after it's forgotten. The haunting sense that there is something you have not understood will remain long after." "the word prodigy comes from the Latin word for monster." On war: "The next great war wont arrive until everyone who remembers the last one is dead." This one got me thinking about whether this novelist is right about mental illness: "Mental illness doesnt seem to occur in animals [...] I think you have to have language to have craziness [...] The arrival of language was like the invasion of a parasitic system. Co-opting those areas of the brain that were the least dedicated [...] Not only is it comparable to a parasitic invasion, it's not comparable to anything else." And I'll end with this, the recognition of one's own evil, living inside: "There's a classic trope in which the killer catches a glimpse of himself in a mirror. He suddenly sees a crazed figure splattered with blood holding an axe aloft and he realizes that it is he himself he is looking at. In the story it usually suggests a link between buried conscience." If you're looking for a deep read, a highly intellectual but engrossing read, this one's for you.

Brainstorm
by Dr. Daniel Siegel (307 pages)

The ESSENCE of adolescence is what this book's all about. And the main takeaways are in the ESSENCE (Emotional Spark, Social Engagement, Novelty, and Creative Exploration). Siegel cleverly composes an acronym to describe the main brain features that occur between 12-24 years old. Contrary to what many think, the adolescence isn't a period of 'raging hormones.' Sure, hormones rage, but its within the restructuring of the human brain during this pivotal period that the answers lie. Siegel says something like a 'renovation' occurs in the brain where huge chunks of brain matter is lost, repurposed, restructured, weakened, and strengthened—this is why there are so many shifts in behaviour and emotion in an adolescent. Kids lose interest in what they used to find interesting and become 'specialists' rather than 'generalists' (they go, for example, from ten sports down to one or two, only able to give their attention to the one that sparks the most passion) Emotional Spark refers to increased emotional expression (both 'positive' and 'negative'). Social Engagement describes the important shift away from family and caregivers towards friendship groups (an important steps in maturation that must occur if a child is to avoid a 'failure to launch' and embrace independence). Novelty describes the pull towards the new. Teens have lower baseline dopamine levels (meaning they get bored much quicker than preteens and adults) and therefore crave novelty to feel good about themselves, their world, and others. Creative Exploration describes where people start questioning what they believe, what they're interested, and who they are as a person. I found it fascinating that if you can't progress through this period safely navigating these categories, you're less likely to adjust into adulthood. And adults who are fed up with or envy the adolescent much learn to embrace and 'complete' these periods in their own lives if they are to better support those they love. Quotes? "when adults lose the four distinguishing features of adolescence [...] life can become boring, isolating, dull, and routinized." Citing Goethe: "Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of being." And, finally, watch your words: "Studies show that when teachers were told that certain students had "limited intelligence," these students performed worse than other students whose teachers were not similarly informed. But when teachers were informed that these same students had exceptional abilities, the students showed marked improvement in their test scores." If you want a brief exposé on what the book entails, check out this podcast episode.

Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself
by Dr. Joe Dispenza (303 pages)

Again, we bring Dispenza into the mix. This one's a little more practical. Think of Dispenza as a guy who tries to teach you how to change your mind to change your body. A lot of what's found within is applicable and powerfully effective. Yet many would argue against this 'rationalist' view of change, this 'top-down' approach to symptom reduction and elimination because more and more emphasis is placed on the body these days. Now, I work as a holistic psychotherapist and so I don't prize one approach over another, but I try to integrate what's happening 'up top' with what's going on 'below.' In this book, Dispenza provided a lens through which to look at what you say to yourself and how to use 'positive affirmations' and statements about where you want to be in order to make changes. It's a little more 'woo woo' than his other book above, so I'm definitely biased towards that one; but in saying that, the themes work. For example, check this quote out: "The body becomes addicted to guilt or any emotion in the same way that it would get addicted to drugs [...] Trying to change your emotional pattern is like going through withdrawal." I get this. He's got a point. I see it a lot when people are trying to make changes to what they think and say and do—they make strides early on and then fall flat on their face, just like with addiction. I guess I could summarise the main points by referencing these two quotes: "Your problems will never be resolved by analyzing them while you are still caught up in the emotions of the past. Looking at the experience or reliving the event that created the problem in the first place will only bring up the old emotions and a reason to feel the same way." "all you have to do is remind yourself who you no longer want to "be" until this becomes so familiar that you know your old self—the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions connected to the old you that you want to change [...] Then, you repeatedly contemplate who you do want to "be." As a result, you will fire and wire new levels of mind, to which you will emotionally condition the body until they become familiar and second nature to you. That's change."

Billy Summers
by Stephen King (432 pages)

I'm no King expert, so I'm in no place to compare this work with any of his others. I've read a bunch, and this one stands out mainly because it's more 'real.' It follows the story of an Iraq War veteran, a sniper, who takes contracts after retiring to kill people. He's a gun for hire, but the caveat? His targets must be bad men. When a hit goes epically wrong and he himself is targeted, he's on the run for his life. I won't give away any spoilers, but I will say it's an exciting, stimulating, very real (there's that word again) story. It paints the picture of trauma very well, alongside ways to overcome it. At one part of the story he supports a girl, Alice, who's been raped, ultimately bringing the culprit to justice, vigilante style—I won't tell you how; all I'll say is a part of his body will be sore for a very long time. Let's look at some quotes from the book: On the visceral experience of war: "Guys would start rasping for breath, doubling over sometimes falling down. Most were good little jarheads who wouldn't admit to being scared so they said it was the smoke and dust, because those things were constant. Pill [the medic] would agree with them - just the dust, just the smokes - and wet a washcloth to put over their faces. Breathe through that; he'd say. 'It'll clear the crap out and you'll be able to breathe fine? He had cures for other things, too. Some were bullshit and some were not, but they all worked at least some of the time: thumping wens and swellings with the side of a book to make them disappear (he called it the Bible cure), pinching your nose shut and singing Ahhhh for hiccup sand coughing fits, breathing Vicks VapoRub steam to stop up bloody noses, a silver dollar rubbed on eyelids to cure keratitis. 'Most of this shit is pure hill-country folk medicine I learned from my grammaw,' he told me once. 'I use what works, but mostly it works because I tell 'em it works.'" Think back to Dispenza—the healing is in the thinking, it seems. And the next reminds me of what I've been writing about these past few years, the experience of evil we all carry inside that comes out from time to time. This is from Alice towards the end: "'It wasn't me, Alice said. 'Billy, it wasn't me who pulled the trigger, I swear it wasn't.' Only it was. Something inside her had risen up, a stranger, and now she would have to live with its presence because that was her, too. She'd see it the next time she looked in the mirror." Again, a great read; I could see it turned into a film—I hope they do.

The Brain's Way Of Healing
by Dr. Norman Doidge (378 pages)

A sequel to The Brain That Changes Itself, this work of art is admirable for its breadth and applicability. The brain changes, the brain heals. And if you're struggling, there have been huge advancements in the field of neuroplasticity to give you confidence that you, too, can benefit. Doidge does a marvellous job in describing, in great detail, the interventions that have helps conditions like chronic pain, autism spectrum disorders, hearing and speaking conditions, movement disorders like Parkinson's and MS, and so on. I've wrestled with these findings for years, describing them to my own clients in the hope of giving them hope. I've seen the impact hearing an alternative approach described, and it's moving. If you're opposed to spending time grappling with all you've been taught about the brain, then don't pick this book up—it's a perspective changer. But if you're open to see the interventions that have helped people come to healing, this is for you. It's not a 'pop a pill and heal' sort of work, but it is a book that describes deeply intentional strategies that require a lot of work to help you heal. Check it out.

Breath: The New Science Of A Lost Art
by James Nestor (230 pages)

This book became the basis of my own work on the breath (currently pre-publication) where I provide instructions on the most effective breathing interventions from a Polyvagal perspective (for more on this Theory, check out this post). Breath is under-appreciated, especially in the West. In Eastern traditions, it's all the rage. We live in a medicalised world whereby something as simple as the breath is often the last thing on a physician's mind when he's trying to get to the bottom of many stress conditions. Nestor does a spectacular job of highlighting what oxygen is, so too with CO2. He talks about the history of breath science and jam packs his book with awesome anecdotes and research to inform your own breathing practice. One thing that stood out was his discussion on Native American tribes that were taught from a young age the important og nasal breathing, to the point of mothers blocking their babies' mouths to encourage nose breathing. Mouth breathing is the antithesis of good physical health, and Nestor tells you a whole lot more about why.

Holly
by Stephen King (433 pages)

Another King book I swallowed up. It follows the story of Holly who appears in others of his books (first introduced in his Mercedes Killer trilogy). My favourite of his books where Holly appears is The Outsider (think smart shape-shifting fiend that has to be put down), but this one is pretty good. Holly is called to investigate a few mysterious disappearances and is sucked into the saga herself. An old cannibalising couple that hunts, kills, and eats the people they catch must be hunted themselves. Here are a few quotes that stood out for me: "Holly knows this is how addicts think and behave: they rearrange the furniture of their lives to make room for their bad habits." On the creative venture: "They don't teach you that at college, do they? No. The idea that the creative impulse is a way to get rid of poison ... or a kind of creative defecation ... no. They don't teach that. They don't dare. It's too earthly. Too common." On trusting your gut: "Why the hesitation? No concrete reason she can think of, but her gut says don't do it. She decides to table this logical next step and think it over." And on evil: "Just when you think you've seen the worst human beings have to offer, you find out you're wrong, Izzy said. Then added the kicker: There's no end to evil."

Polyvagal Theory In Therapy
by Dr. Deb Dana (213 pages)

Again, this one's for therapists. If you want to know more about how to integrate Polyvagal Theory into therapy, this one's for you. I was a little disappointed, however. I thought it would carry with it more body-based interventions. Dana provides a great summary of the Theory and also includes a huge amount of handouts at the back of the book, but they feel like a kind of cognitive approach. No matter, still a fine read. And relatively short. Here are a few thoughts that arose from the book: "The autonomic nervous system is shaped through experience. In response to experiences of connection and challenge, we develop a personal neural profile with habitual patterns of reaction." "The mind narrates what the nervous system knows. Story follows state." A great point. We often think the opposite is true. "The autonomic nervous system is at the heart of our lived experience. When we say something is a shock to our system or we are moved by an experience, we are in fact speaking for our autonomic response. We see eye to eye, are all ears, face up to something, put our best foot forward, or put our finger on it. We stick our necks out and encourage friends to keep their chins up. We have cold feet and our blood boils. These figures of speech describe our autonomic experiences."

Blood-Soaked Soil
by Mario Bekes (142 pages)

I was gifted this book by Bekes himself after I appeared on a radio program he hosted during COVID (you can find it here). It is a very short memoir of his upbringing and military experiences in former Yugoslavia (he was brought up in Communist Croatia and fought against the Serbians as a young man). He recounts his relationship with his parents, feeling on the outside, growing up in a communist state, and witnessing and experiencing the dread and destruction of war. Here are a few quotes that stood out: Regarding his father: "He was afraid of his own shadow, and the only way he would express emotion was by punishing me. He was brutal [...] He would come to my bed at 2 o'clock in the morning and punch me in the face for no reason. I was just a kid. I was five or six years old." On his parents: "I was born into a very poor family. They didn't have faith in anything, except total negativity. [...] Imagine, every morning you wake up, instead of having your parents wish you a good morning, they say, "Today's going to be a terrible day."" On war: "Evolution gives us [the] key survival instincts we need to follow. We have five senses to see, feel, smell, touch and hear. War is all about this - you need all five to keep yourself alive. You are constantly asking, Can you see it? Can you smell it? Can you hear it? Can you feel it?" On God: "Through the destructions and miseries of war, I learnt for myself that God exists." On the gut-wrench of war: "I know that my stomach was shaking. I can't really explain the feeling, but it was genuinely shaking." And on craving closeness: "Mentally, I was exhausted and broken. All I wanted was to sleep - but not just to lie down and get sleep. I wanted somebody to hug me and tell me how much they loved me. I wanted to kiss someone and feel the warmth of their skin." This book is a winner for me: short, to the point, full of action, enough detail to immerse you in the story, and with enough quotes to make you think. It's not polished or finely edited or what you'd find on the shelves of a local bookstore, but it is real. Thank you, Mario. Still waiting for part two!

Is God Real?
by Lee Strobel (200 pages)

The newest addition to Strobel's 'The Case For' series, this one's basically a summary of many of the main points found in his other books, but written for the present seeker. The typical Strobel style is there - interviews, to the point, many quotes, many questions, many 'playing Devil's advocate' lines - but I think it lacks a little in 'Story' typical in his other books. It's a great read if you want to summarise the main points for the existence of the Christian God (that is, give the Christian confidence that his faith is reasonable), though. Here are some stand-out quotes: Quoting the late molecular biologist Francis Crick, "An honest man, armed with all the knowledge available to us now, could only state [...] the origin of life appears at the moment to be almost a miracle, so many are the conditions which would have had to have been satisfied to get it going." This one's interesting: "well-known atheists throughout history [...] may have been motivated by psychological factors to disbelieve in God. Their problems with their earthly fathers may have turned them off to the idea of a heavenly Father." On bigotry: "Truth can't be bigoted, but people certainly can be" On suffering: "most objections to the existence of God from the problem of suffering come from outside observers who are quite comfortable, whereas those who actually suffer are, as often as not, made into stronger believers by their suffering." I found Strobel's chapter of God's silence quite powerful. Here's C.S. Lewis: "Sometimes when I talk to people who have walked away from faith, I ask them about their prayer life and their connection to a church, and there isn't anything there [...] I know in my own life that when God appears hidden, it's often at a time when I'm at a spiritual low." And Blaise Pascal: "There is enough light for those who desire only to see, and enough darkness for those of a contrary disposition."" If you're a seeker, get this book.

The Alchemist
by Paolo Coelho (161 pages)

This one puts a smile on my face. It's a book of discovery, self-discovery, and gives me the same feeling I get when I read one of my favourite childhood classics, The Horse and His Boy. As a kid, I wanted to escape, to experience freedom, to do the things I was passionate about—in retrospect, this is why I love these books so much. (Granted, I only read The Alchemist for the first time in 2024) The book picks up the story of Santiago who goes off on a quest for treasure, encountering many obstacles along the way, ultimately returning to the place of his setting out to realise the treasure was there all along. Sorry. Spoiler. The book is full of beautiful wisdom—here's what stood out for me: On trust and contentment: "The day was dawning, and the shepherd urged his sheep in the direction of the sun. They never have to make any decisions, he thought. Maybe that's why they always stay close to me." On obstacles to following our calling: "we are told from childhood onwards that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear and guilt [...] We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. [...] We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse, "Oh, well, I didn't really want it anyway."" Wow. That packs a punch. On following your dreams: "making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision." On fear: "Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place." And to finish it off: "when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

EMDR (3rd edition)
by Dr. Francine Shapiro (348 pages)

Again, for clinicians. Read it if you want to sharpen your EMDR practice, are learning EMDR, or just want to find out more. It's quite dense and boring but carries many examples you can integrate in your clinical practice. Written by the person who discovered EMDR, it's an authoritative source. It also has many techniques outside the usual EMDR protocol to help integrate if you're stuck.

Accessing The Healing Power Of The Vagus Nerve
by Stanley Rosenberg (296 pages)

This book is jam-packed with practical strategies to utilise the vagus nerve in conditions as diverse as panic attacks, phobias, ADHD, migraines, and even autism. Of course, the author doesn't claim to cure these conditions but provides amazing resources to understand them from a polyvagal perspective and then to utilise body-based exercises to address. He gives a good outline of the cranial nerves at the beginning, how polyvagal theory fits, and how conceptualising various hurts from that lens helps frame treatment. A great book not just for the clinician but anybody who is struggling, I think.

Humans Of New York
by Brandon Stanton (428 pages)

If you haven't heard of HONY, get on it now. A New York photographer who approaches people and asks for their stories, later uploading them on social media; there's a lot to love about it. You meet people of all stripes and colours and get to know what they stand for. This book is a testament to that, bringing together some of the most impacting stories he came across. Here are a few that stood out to me: featuring a Black man wearing a trench coat and fedora at night, carrying an antiquated camera: "If everyone in the room believes the same thing, I get worried." A jaunty policeman: "1,027 days, 1 hour, and 44 minutes until retirement." And the one that stands out the most—a man lights a cigarette, you can't see his face: "It took me getting into a lot of fights before I was diagnosed with PTSD. I have something called 'hypervigilance.' I get really nervous around people. Especially people from the Middle East. [...] I was in a vehicle when a mortar round exploded in front of us, and we fell into the crater and for trapped. There was a burning oil rig near us, so it was like being in a microwave. And we couldn't get out. And I also saw a lot of hanky shit. Mostly from our side. Everyone was really revved up from 9/11. We did a lot of bad things. I saw decapitations, and that was our guys doing it. [...] We were supposed to bring POWs back to the base. But instead we gave them a cigarette to calm down, and told them to get on their knees. One of our guys was 240 pounds, and he'd taken a shovel we'd been issued and he'd sharpened one of the sides like an ax, and he could take off somebody's head with two hits."

Vagabond (Volume 5)
by Takenhiko Inoue (graphic novel)

A graphic novel following the reimagined story of the lone samurai Miyamoto Musashi. A real historical figure, this novel tracks him after the epic Battle of Sekigahara (occurring in 1600). It's a fun read. But you've got to commit. I read the first five volumes and then stopped. But I think the better novel is Musashi, written in 1971 by Eiji Yoshikawa. It's a long read, but well worth it if you like the history of Japan during the samurai era.

Seven Men
by Eric Metaxas (audiobook)

Metaxas does a fine job here at summarising the lives of seven extraordinary men (e.g. George Washington, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, William Wilberforce, and others), especially in how they stood out from a Christian perspective. These game-changers are given good service by Metaxas who writes as a short biography of each of the men. I forget the main details (that's probably just my own inability to remember much of what I read unless I have a pen and paper handy, and I'm thinking about it during the day, and talking it through with others...) but I have a good 'feeling' when I think about this. I listened to the audiobook twice and think it's light listening if you want a dose of inspiration. It could even change your life.

The Last Yakuza
by Jake Adelstein (389 pages)

I didn't know much about the Yakuza before I picked up this book, and now I know a little more. It's written in a fast-paced, explorative, biographical style while bringing historical featured to the fore to paint to history of the Yakuza in Japan until the modern era. Tracking the story of Makoto Saigo, an aspiring Yakuza become boss, it tracks how the Yakuza got their footing after WWII and went through a rise and, more recently, a fall. Starting as a gambling racket, it has since expanded into prostitution, drugs, protection, film, and many other areas. Their tuxedo-wearing front is often a fascade that covers up the fractional warring that happens within. An excellent book if you want to know how the 'Japanese mafia' works. A few quotes: "Japan is all about wa - the ideal of social harmony. Everyone plays the roles they are assigned to on the great stage that is Japan. Everyone is a performer, and everyone is an audience member - each watching and performing for the other. It requires everyone to say their lines at the proper time and in the correct way." On tattoos: "The yakuza have their own word for tattoos: gaman - endurance. [..] The Japanese take great pride in endurance." "Bearing the unbearable, that was the mark of a man. Japanese men take great pride in their ability to endure suffering. It's a culture in which seppuku, suicide by ritual disembowelment, was considered a noble way to die, provided that you did it right and showed no expression of discomfort or pain and you slowly and methodically cut open your stomach." On saving face: "The underworld abounds with terms referring to the importance of "face." Face is everything. Japan itself has been called a "culture of shame" [...] The importance placed on the opinion of others and how one is viewed by society creates an invisible cage around each person [...] To "lose face" [...] is the worst thing that can happen to a yakuza; it's the ultimate insult." On why Japan tolerated the yakuza: "There used to be a code. [...] Many Japanese people feel that the only thing worse than organized crime is disorganized crime. [...] The yakuza keep disorganized crime at bay. They give people a feeling of safety [...] no using or selling drugs. [This rule was often broken] no theft, robbery, indecent acts, or sexual crimes." And I'll end with this. Anybody with martial arts experience (or who highly values discipline) will smile upon reading: "Coach was a firm believer in the Japanese sayings karada de oboeru (remember with your body) and tatakinaosu (beat or hit something with enough force to repair it or fix it). It's a term often used to justify corporal punishment in schools. When yakuza do it to their peers to get them back on the straight and narrow, it's a crime. In fact, it's also a crime when civilians do it, but it is rarely punished - especially if the victims are family members: wives and children. Coach believed that an occasional punch punctuated his verbal lessons better than a shout, and made them easier for Saigo to remember."

The Things They Carried
by Tim O'Brien (254 pages)

A powerful book if I've ever read one. Written by a Vietnam veteran, it tells a fictional (but factually inspired) story of a man's experiences leading up to and serving in the Marines. I finally got around to reading it after years of citing the famous quote, "They carried all they could bear, and then some, including a silent awe for the terrible power of the things they carried." Though it's framed as fiction, it reads like a firsthand account of the goings-on of Alpha Company during the war. And it probably is, at least in some respects, because of who the author is. Let's check out some quotes: "as I write these things, the remembering is turned into a kind of rehappening." On war stories: "A true war story is never moral. It does not instruct, nor encourage virtue, nor suggest models of proper human behavior, nor restrain men from doing the things men have always done. If a story seems moral, do not believe it. [...] you can tell a true war story by its absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil. [... And if] you don't care for obscenity, you don't care for the truth". Wow. What a punch in the gut. On exaggerating in the pursuit for telling a compelling story: "Even that story is made up. I want you to feel what I felt. I want you to know why story-truth is truer sometimes than happening-truth." And, to finish: "the presence of death and danger has a way of bringing you fully awake. It makes things vivid. When you're afraid, really afraid, you see things you never saw before, you pay attention to the world. You make close friends. You become part of a tribe and you share the same blood - you give it together, you take it together."

An Autobiography Of Trauma
by Dr. Peter Levine (170 pages)

Levine has been treating traumatic stress since before there was a diagnosis of PTSD available in the psychiatric literature. And he's always adopted a somatic (body-based) approach. He came up with his own method that I draw from often in treating my own clients: Somatic Experiencing (SE). In this short autobiography, he recounts his life story, and the unimaginable traumas he endured that led him on this path. Here are some quotes: On healing: "there exists in humans a fundamental, primal drive toward wholeness and health." On referencing Carl Jung and the parallels between his work and SE: "Active imagination is a method for visualizing unconscious issues by letting them act themselves out. [... It] is not meditation, self-hypnosis, guided imagery, or wish fulfillment, but is rather a way to activate the unconscious, and to have a dialogue with it" You can compare the latter with 'parts' therapy. The more I approach the science of psychotherapy, the more I see the utility of visualisation-based approaches. On knowing: "There is a saying in Papua New Guinea: "Knowledge is useless until it lives in the body."" Quoting Meltzer: "I understand pain. I've lived with pain my entire life. But pain is nothing compared to betrayal. And betrayal is nothing compared to knowing that the javelin in your back was rammed there by the one person in your life you actually trusted." On trauma: "I believe it is a misstep to compare traumas. If I have learned anything, it is that trauma is trauma, no matter the source!" Levine's story of being raped by adolescent boys as a young boy himself is powerful, and helps you realise how his trajectory was set. It was a jarring experience reading what he went through, and uplifting to see what he's done with it.

The Count of Monté Cristo
by Alexandre Dumas (1,243 pages)

Now, with a book that exceeds 1,000 pages, I can't do justice to the story and quotes without leaving out a huge gap that many others have filled time and again since its publication in the 1800s. So instead, I'll just include a range of quotes that stood out to me. Needless to say, the book takes your breath away in its scope and magnitude, far outweighing the films that have been made in its honour since. Let's get into it: "there is no such thing as murder in politics. You know as well as I do, my dear boy, that in politics there are no people, only ideas; no feelings, only interests. In politics, you don't kill a man, you remove an obstacle, that's all." Who ever said those who've come before us are more nitwitted? Only those who've never read their works—this is as true now as it was then... "The tiger, which spills blood in the natural course of things, because this is its state of being, its destiny, needs only for its sense of smell to inform it that a prey is within reach; immediately it leaps towards its prey, falls on it, and tears it apart. That is its instinct, which it obeys. But mankind, on the contrary, is repelled by blood. It is not the laws of society that condemn murder, but the laws of nature." Looks like a Rousseauian idea—not agreeable to me, but it did stand out. More: "There is a very profound axiom in law which is consistent with what I told you a short time ado, and it is this: unless an evil thought is born in a twisted mind, human nature is repelled by crime. However, civilization has given us needs, vices and artificial appetites which sometimes cause us to repress our good instincts and lead us to wrongdoing. hence the maxim: if you wish to find the guilty party, first discover whose interests the crime serves!" A beautiful maxim that is still applicable today, however it comes out of a premise that I think is a little misguided, and I argue this in my book on the history of trauma (not yet published). "In business, Monsieur, as you very well know, one has no friends, only associates." Think back to what Greene said about Mastery here. On death: "the more you have seen others die, the easier it becomes to die oneself. So, in my opinion, death may be a torment, but it is not an expiation [that is, the extinguishment of guilt through suffering]". On suicide: "I too wanted to kill myself [...] if anyone had said to [me] at that climactic moment: Live! Because the day will come when you will be happy and bless life; then, wherever that voice had come from, [I] would have answered it with with a smile of scepticism or with pained incredulity; and yet, how many times [have I] not blessed life [since ...]? grief is like life [...] there is always something unknown beyond it [...] one day you will thank me for saving your life." And to end, I'll invoke this powerful statement from Edmond Dantès: "there is neither happiness nor misfortune in this world, there is merely the comparison between one state and another, nothing more. Only someone who has suffered the deepest misfortune is capable of experiencing the heights of felicity." The deeper you suffer, the deeper Joy you can experience.

Stillness Is The Key
by Ryan Holiday (260 pages)

Holiday's books are sharp, to the point, impressive in their breadth, short-chaptered, story-filled, and very, very engaging to read. He adopts a Stoic philosophy in his writing and this trickles through each of his works. This one's for those who seek stillness in their lives: Citing Seneca: "I force my mind to concentrate, and keep it from straying to things outside itself; all outdoors may be bedlam, provided that there is no disturbance within." Blaise Pascal in 1654: "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." On Fred Rogers: In a tragedy, "always look for the helpers [...] There's always someone who is trying to help ... The world is full of doctors and nurses, police and firemen, volunteers and friends who are ready to jump in to help when things go wrong." On writing: Anne Frank: "Paper has more patience than people. [...] How noble and good everyone could be if at the end of the day they were to review their own behaviour [... and] try to do better at the start of each new day". There's more wisdom in this 15-year-old girl than many alive today. It is a tragedy she did not survive. "Confidence is the freedom to set your own standards and unshackle yourself from the need to prove yourself." On ego: "Both egotistical and insecure people make their flaws central to their identity—either by covering them up or by brooding over them or externalizing them. For them stillness is impossible, because stillness can only be rooted in strength." "a virtuous life is worthwhile for its own sake." Don't do what's right for approval, do it because it's right! A little exercise on envy: "if you had to trade places entirely with the person you envy, if you had to give up your brain, your principles, your proudest accomplishments to live in their life, would you do it? Are you willing to pay the price they paid to get what you covet?" On God: "Nihilism is a fragile strategy. It's always the nihilist who seems to go crazy or kill themselves when life gets hard. (Or, more recently, are so afraid of dying that they obsess about living forever.) Why is that? Because the nihilist is forced to wrestle with the immense complexity and difficulty and potential emptiness of life (and death) with nothing but their own mind." One needs more than oneself. Period. And let's end there otherwise I will be going on for an impossibly long time.

Bonhoeffer
by Eric Metaxas (542 pages)

Another epic biography that I cannot give justice to because it is so vast in its scope. Needless to say, it tracks the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer during Nazi Germany, his involvement in the Valkyrie plot to assassinate Hitler, and his subsequent imprisonment and execution on Hitler's own orders just a few weeks before the end of the War. A heartbreaking story, and a convicting one. Here are the main quotes that stand for me: on childhood emotions: His father "taught his children to speak only when they had something to say [...] Emotionalism, like sloppy communication, was thought to be self-indulgent." On the separation of Church and State (As in Bonhoeffer's time, they were linked at the hip, with the Church being highly influential in matters of State, and Hitler used this to his advantage): "[The church] must completely separate herself from the state." Loneliness: "Where a people prays, there is the church; and where the church is; there is never loneliness." On his witnessing bull-fighting in Barcelona: "Probably the majority of spectators do indeed just want to see blood and cruelty. Overall, the people vent all these powerful emotions, and you get drawn in yourself." Reflecting on children: "They have not yet been tainted in any respect by the church." On Hitler and power: "Hitler must be called a Nietzschean, although he likely would have bristled at the term since it implied that he believed in something beyond himself." On Hitler and church pastors: "You can do anything you want with them [...] They will submit ... they are insignificant little people, submissive as dogs, and they sweat with embarrassment when you talk to them." Bonhoeffer: "There is no peace along the way of safety. For peace must be dared". Again: "we simply cannot be constant with the fact that God's cause is not always the successful one, that we really could be "unsuccessful": and yet be on the right road. But this is where we find out whether we have begun in faith or in a burst of enthusiasm." Yes—what's worth doing even if you fail? "It's so easy to become a grumbler, a person who condemns and carps at everything on principle and sees an ulterior motive behind it." Bonhoeffer is on point here. Pessimism is eternal, it appears. In prison: "Think how happy we'll be later on, and tell yourself that perhaps all this had to happen for us to realize how lovely our life will be and how grateful for it we must be." On his comforting others in prison: "He always cheered me up and comforted me, he never tired of repeating that the only fight which is lost is that which we give up." And on going to his death: "He had hardly finished his last prayer when the door opened and two evil-looking men in civilian clothes came in and said: "Prisoner Bonhoeffer. Get ready to come with us." Those words "Come with us"—for all prisoners they had come to mean one thing only—the scaffold. We bade him goodbye—he drew me aside—"This is the end," he said. "For me the beginning of life.""

Right Thing Right Now
by Ryan Holiday (338 pages)

For me, not one of his best books even though he says from the outset that it was his favourite to write. Why? Perhaps because, on the other side of the pandemic I am a lot more sceptical about governmental power and control, and in this book he defines the "right thing" as having done much of what the government dictated. But that's my own stuff. What about the book? An exceptional premise: Do the right thing, right now. Don't put it off. Don't um and ah, just do it. Be useful. Be kind. Like his Stoic virtues collection, it's sharp, engaging, short-chaptered (by now you know this is a huge win for me), and story-driven. Here are some of the things that stood out: Mark Twain: "Always do right! This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." Honesty: "for all the lip service w pay to the truth, in fact, honesty is often a radical, even dangerous act. It may well be one of the rarest things in the world." Responsibility: ""The phrase 'I am not responsible' has become a standard response in our society to complaints of a job poorly done," Admiral Hyman Rickover once pointed out. "This response is a semantic error. Generally what a person means is, 'I cannot be held legally liable.' Yet, from a moral or ethical point of view the person who declaims responsibility is correct: by taking this way out he is truly not responsible, he is irresponsible."" Shirking responsibility is always wrong. And unbecoming. Don't do that. A wonderful little story: "There is a story of a Spartan king who met two of his subjects, a youth and the youth's lover, accidentally in a crowd. Embarrassed, the subjects tried to hide their blushing cheeks, but the kind noticed and replied, "Son, you ought to keep the company of the sort of people who won't cause you to change color when observed."" Let's end with doing one's best: "When we don't do out best, when we hold something back, we are cheating ourselves. We are cheating our gifts. We are cheating the potential beneficiaries of us reaching our full potential. [... Uncle Will writing to Walter Percy:] I do not regret having written [poetry], although what I wrote does not rank with the greatest and may well be forgotten shortly. If I had thought this would be its fate, I would not have written, but now I am glad I did. It was the best I could give and if it is not the best somebody else would give, that is not my concern."" I can relate. Why writing is like this: Often I think about why I do it—will anybody read what I've written? Will it make an impact? Will it help? And then I keep writing, knowing it's the best I could do. Let what comes of it come. I'll brace when it arrives.

The Choice
by Dr. Edith Eger (360 pages)

Recommended by Holiday as one of the ten best books written in the past 100 years, I had to get my hands on it. When Holiday writes a book, I drop everything and get it. When he recommends one, I listen. And here, I'm glad I did. Eger has written an exceptional piece on her history, her upbringing, Holocaust experience and, what sets her out among the Holocaust survivors I've read, what happened after. Her contention as I understand it: When something terrible happens, you are faced with a choice: To fold and live in the prison of your own mind, or to find a way through it, towards hope. There are so many pieces of wisdom in this book, it's hard to choose the best. But let's take a stab at it: On being a victim: "suffering is universal. But victimhood is optional. [...] victimhood comes from the inside. No one can make you a victim but you. We become victims not because of what happens to us but when we choose to hold on to our victimization. We develop a victim's mind—a way of thinking and being that is rigid, blaming, pessimistic, stuck in the past, unforgiving, punitive, and without healthy limits or boundaries. We become our own jailers when we choose the confines of the victim's mind. [...] Survivors don't have time to ask, "Why me?" For survivors, the only relevant question is, "What now?"" Wow. this is not only gutting because of its nonchalant way of asking you to step up, but because she's done it, she's been through the worst and come out on the other side. And this is what she thinks. "Memory is sacred ground. But it's haunted too." On camp conditions: "anyone who comes close to the outer fence is shot without warning. A girl over a little older than me [sixteen] tries to run. They hang her body in the middle of the camp as an example." ""Your eyes," I tell my sister, "they're so beautiful. I never noticed them when they were covered up by all that hair." It's the first time I see that we have a choice: to pay attention to what we've lost or to pay attention to what we still have."" On revenge: ""You know how I'm going to get revenge?" [my sister] Magda says. "I'm going to kill a German mother. A German kills my mother; I'm going to kill a German mother." I have a different wish. I wish for the boy who spits at us to one day see that he doesn't have to hate. In my revenge fantasy, the boy who yells at us now—"Dirty Jew! Vermin!"— hold out a bouquet of roses. "Now I know," he says, "there's no reason to hate you. No reason at all." We embrace in mutual absolution." On being rescued: "I am still so weak, but I can feel the potential in my boy, all the things it will be possible to say with it when I have healed. [...] I have reverse phantom limbs. It's a sensation not in something that is lost but in a part of me that is returning, that is coming into its own. I can feel all the potential of the limbs and the life I can grow into again." On silence: "Denial is our shield. We don't yet know the damage we perpetuate by cutting ourselves off from the past, by maintaining our conspiracy of silence. We are convinced that the more securely we lock the past away, the safer and happier we will be." On PTSD: "It will be more than twenty years before I will have the language and psychological training to understand that I was having a flashback, that the unnerving physical sensations [...] I experienced that day (and that I will continue to experience many times in my life, even now, in my late eighties) are automatic responses to trauma. This is why I now object to pathologizing post-traumatic stress by calling it a disorder. It's not a disordered reaction to trauma—it's a common and natural one." Reflecting on Frankl: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Each moment is a choice. No matter how frustrating or boring or constraining. or painful or oppressive our experience, we can always choose how we respond. And I finally begin to understand that I, too, have a choice." "Richard Farson's calamity theory of growth[:] Very often it is the crisis situation ... that actually improves us as human beings. [...] the person often makes a major reassessment of his life situation and changes it". On forgiveness: "I met a lot of survivors who remained in the past. "Never, ever will I forgive," many told me. To them, forgiveness meant forgetting or condoning. [...] But [...] you can live to avenge the past, or you can live to enrich the present." Again, on victimhood: "being a victim is when you look outside yourself for someone to blame for your present circumstances, or to determine your purpose, fate, or worth." Did Eger forgive? Here's what she said: "revenge doesn't make you free. So I stood on the site of Hitler's former home and forgave him. This had nothing to do with Hitler. It was something I did for me. I was letting go, releasing the part of myself that had spent most of my life exerting the mental and spiritual energy to keep Hitler in chains. As long as I was holding on to that rage, I was in chains with him, locked in the damaging past, locked in my grief. To forgive is to grieve—for what happened, for what didn't happen—to give up the need for a different past." I don't recommend too many books to me clients to read, but this is one that I do. An excellent resource for suffering, and hope.

The Happiest Man On Earth
by Eddie Jaku (189 pages)

This was a good read. Like other Holocaust survivor stories, it recounts the experience and stops shortly after the ordeal. Jaku was 100 when he wrote it. Here are my takeaways: "If you are lucky enough to have money and a nice house, you can afford to help those who don't. [...] A man is worth more than his bank account." On what led up to Hitler's rise: "People became desperate and receptive to any solution [to inflation]. The Nazi party and Hitler promised the German people a solution. And they provided an enemy." Recalling another book I read, Ordinary Men by Christopher Browning (now a Netflix doco), here is Jaku's memory of how ordinary people switched to doing evil: "Ordinary citizens, our friends and neighbours since before I was born, joined in the violence and the looting. When the mob was done destroying property, they rounded up Jewish people - many of them young children - and threw them into the river that I used to skate on as a child. The ice was thin and the water freezing. Men and women I'd grown up with stood on the river-banks, spitting and jeering as people struggled." "the most important thing I have ever learned: [...] be loved by another person." "Under the Nazi regime, a German man was not immediately an evil man, he was weak and easily manipulated. And slowly but surely, these weak men lost all their morals and then their humanity. They became men who could torture others and then still go home and face their wives and children." "Those who spent time worrying about what they had lost - their lives, their money, their family - they would not make it." "It does no good to hold onto anger: Anger leads to fear, which leads to hate, which leads to death." "Kindness is the greatest wealth of all." If you have no money and you want to invest, invest in kindness—it is a resource that will never stop giving back. If not from others to yourself, then from the deep well within, and if you are a person of faith, from above.

Mastery
by Robert Greene (311 pages)

An interview between Andrew Huberman and Robert Greene is what finally tipped me over to read the book. I've had the book in my home library for sometime before picking it up, but I'm so glad I did. If you want to be the best at what you want to be, this one's for you. There's too much in this book to give it justice here, but if I were to summarise I'd say that to really achieve mastery you must reconnect with that thing that manifested inside from an early age, and keep at it, no matter what, as you got older. Be not afraid of criticism or people telling you you can't (think back to The Alchemist) for they'll revel in seeing you fall flat on your face. Submit yourself to a mentor as you grow into your skill and NEVER shirk responsible humility. For you to rest upon your own laurels, well, you're resting in Hell. Be a good apprentice and find your specialisation within the discipline you want to get better at. Connect with people who challenge you and ensure you're always adopting a teachable attitude. And grind. Really. There's no substitute for hard work and commitment, and just showing up day after day after day. You don't become a black belt in an evening. Here are some quotes: "The great danger is that we give in to feelings of boredom, impatience, fear, and confusion. We stop observing and learning. The process comes to a halt." What all the greats possess: "a youthful passion or predilection, a chance encounter that allows them to discover how to apply it, an apprenticeship in which they come alive with energy and focus. They excel by their ability to practice harder and move faster through the process, all of this stemming from the intensity of their desire to learn and from the deep connection they feel to their field of study. And at the core of this intensity of effort is in fact a quality that is genetic and inborn—not talent or brilliance, which is something that must be developed, but rather a deep and powerful inclination towards a particular subject." Wow! Boom. That's the spirit. It's not about being born with a certain talent, but focusing on the inborn inclination that is unique to YOU! Here's a warning: "be wary of people who want to collaborate—they are often trying to find someone who will do the heavier lifting for them." On objectivity: "Seeing [stressful] events from the perspective of the other people involved will loosen the lock our emotions have on our self-image, and help us understand the role we play in our own mistakes." "Understand: the greatest impediment to creativity is your impatience, the almost inevitable desire to hurry up the process, express something, and make a splash." Slow down. If you can. And let's end with this one: "At first, our intuitions might be so faint that we do not pay attention to them or trust them. All Masters talk of this phenomenon. But over time they learn to notice these rapid ideas that come to them. They learn to act on them and verify their validity. Some lead nowhere, but others lead to tremendous insights." Do yourself a favour and get the book. There's way too much to cover, but at least now I hope you've got an idea what it's all about.

Elon Musk
by Walter Isaacson (615 pages)

I've already reviewed this one in greater length than I would like to provide here. You can find this here. In short, a great book—long paged but short chaptered, and always moving, just like Elon Musk!

Religionless Christianity
by Eric Metaxas (151 pages)

The subtitle reads "God's Answer to Evil." and it's a sequel (which I read first) to his book below. Let's see what Metaxas writes: "Bonhoeffer [a German pastor, spy, plotter to kill Hitler, and eventual martyr] knew that the congregations in Germany that were merely "playing church" and not being the Church were precisely the reason the Nazis were able to take over. And it is those American churches doing the thing that have opened the door to evil in our own time." What evil? Metaxas is speaking to the culture wars that are taking over in America. The woke ideology being forefront, but also people just neglecting to stand up and be Christians despite their statements that they are. To Metaxas, being a Christian is an action not a statement. "If our faith exists apart from the rest of reality, then it is meaningless." "in order for the Nazis to silence the church and thereby take over Germany, the slow secularization of German culture was centrally important". On what's happening today: "when the "offending" person grovels towards offering some kind of apology, those animated by the spirit of cancel culture are neither forgiving nor kind and never treat the offending party with anything resembling grace." Metaxas then compares what's happening now with what happened during the French Revolution, during China's Cultural Revolution, the Soviet gulags, Hitler's time—being silenced never amounted to growth. Ever. "if you did not stand up in the beginning for those being persecuted—whether you agreed with them or not—you were preparing the way for your own persecution." For the religious: "Doing the "religious" thing will look good to those who think along "religious" lines, and doing what God requires of us may rub these same people the wrong way, just as Jesus did with the religious leaders who eventually killed him." Let's end with the following: "Wherever Christians have brought their faith out of the caves and church buildings on Sunday morning and into the light of day in the public sphere every day of the week, we see dramatic improvement in people's lives."

Letter To The American Church
by Eric Metaxas (139 pages)

Read after the one above (mainly because the former arrived at my doorstep earlier), I read it having framed my mind on the Bonhoeffer story and how he stood up to the rising tide of his day: Nazism. This 'open letter' is geared to a flaccid church, according to Metaxas. The Church is enduring, unchanging, the 'Bride of Christ,' while the "church" of today is often mute and neutered and cowardly. This is Metaxas's remedy. He begins: "The German Church of the 1930s was silent in the face of evil; but can there be any question whether the American Church of our own time is guilty of the same silence?" Metaxas argues we're in a much more difficult time today: "the extent is even worse than it was ninety years ago, because those forces do not have an agenda that is hyper-nationalistic, as in Germany, but that is actually anti-nationalistic—which is to say globalistic." Invoking Wilberforce: "in his day [he] was told to keep his faith private, and was told that his "religious" view that slavery was wrong had no business poking out into the real world." Inference? We must not separate our Religion from our Vocation, if, in fact, one calls himself a Christian. Metaxas: "It can only be God—and our consciences guided by Him—that can determine what we should and shouldn't say. [...] To remain silent because some will call us names and criticize us is simply to be cowardly, and constitutes a simple failure to trust God." On Bonhoeffer and leadership: "if a leader's main objective was to idolize himself, that leader was not exhibiting true, godly leadership, but was in fact a "mis-leader" of the people he pretended to lead." He talks about how three thousand church leaders stood against Nazism in Germany during the early days while 12,000 chose to be apolitical. And we all know how that turned out. Bonhoeffer, again: "Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act. God will not hold us guiltless." Metaxas: "What we claim to believe makes a great claim on us, and God holds us responsible for what we claim to believe and expects us to live it out." So how does one communicate? With love: "if one is communicating—or wanting to communicate—one is naturally not insensitive to whether what one is saying is actually getting across to the person or people with whom one is speaking." Be wise. Pick up on cues. Communicate.

Troubled
by Rob Henderson (304 pages)

Another great memoir from a boy who went through so much, yet became a man to aspire to. From countless foster care homes to an adolescent rebellion, to a life made possible by the GI Bill, Henderson's story covers much ground, but his trademark 'luxury beliefs' idea (where the upper class hold beliefs to make them in-vogue but that don't affect them at all while affecting the poor and marginalised)shines through this memoir in almost every page. Here are some stand-outs: "I've heard variations of the phrase "I'm grateful for what I went through because it made me who I am today." [...] I strongly disagree with this sentiment. The tradeoff isn't worth it. Given the choice, I would swap my position in the top 1 percent of educational attainment to have never been in the 1 percent of childhood instability." On his childhood trauma: "I simply didn't have many profound insights about my situation. When kids are in survival mode, they don't have much energy left for contemplative thought. [...] my mother would tie me to a chair with a bathrobe belt so that she could get high in another room without being interrupted. She left bruises and marks on my face. [...] I would cry from the other room as I struggled to break free." On books: "reading was an escape—from my memories, from my foster homes, from my feelings." On father figures: "I did want [one ...] I just preferred to choose for myself who it would be. I'd constructed makeshift role models from fragments of pop culture and television and books. These distant idols were reliable—there was no risk of them disappearing from my life." On the military: "I was surrounded by supportive people who wanted me to succeed. In this new environment, I gradually came to realize that my childhood was anomalous, and I didn't have to let it define the rest of my life. [...] The military presses the "fast-forward" button on the worst, most aggressive, and impulsive years of a young man's life—the time when a guy is most likely to do something catastrophically stupid." Military life: "the military taught me that people don't need motivation; they need self-discipline. Motivation is just a feeling. Self-discipline is: "I'm going to do this regardless of how I feel." Seldom do people relish doing something hard. Often, what divides successful from unsuccessful people is doing what you don't feel motivated to do." This, if there's anything you ought to consider, here and in your own life, it's this catalyst. Discipline overpowers motivation. Every time. This one's good: F. Scott Fitzgerald: "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." And on luxury beliefs: "In the past, people displayed their membership in the upper class with their material accoutrements. But today, luxury goods are more accessible than before. This is a problem for the affluent, who still want to broadcast their high social position. But they have come up with a clever solution. The affluent have decoupled social status from goods and reattached it to beliefs." What you believe, today, determines your status. "Proposing policies that will cost you as a member of the upper class less than they would cost me serves the same function. Advocating for sexual promiscuity, drug experimentation, or abolishing the police are good ways of advertising your membership of the elite because, thanks to your wealth and social connections, they will cost you less than me." I wonder, too, whether those from lower social classes, in trying to imitate the rich, also adopt these self-defeating beliefs. To their peril. To end: "The reason I got where I am is because I had something I was running away from and something I was running toward."

Recollections
by Viktor Frankl (129 pages)

The autobiography of one of the most influential Holocaust survivors of the 20th century, this writing if fast paced, short, and engaging. His landmark Man's Search for Meaning is what interested me in his life, and if you haven't read that one, stop reading this and get your hands on it—it will be etched in your memory for years to come. Here are some quotes: On his memory of his father: "While others were close to panic, he smiled as he told them again and again: "Be of good cheer, for God is near."" I pray I can be a man like this to others. On death and meaning: "In some respects it is death itself that makes life meaningful." The way you do anything is the way you do everything, or so it should be—here's what Frankl says about this: "When someone asks me how I explain my accomplishments, I usually say: "Because I have made it a principle to give the smallest things the same attention as the biggest, and to do the biggest as calmly as the smallest."" Beautiful. Against pathologising his patients, he says, "Logotherapy declares war on pathologism." On Frankl's assessment of who survived cf. who didn't in the camps: "those who were oriented towards the future, toward a meaning that waited to be fulfilled—these persons were more likely to survive." To end: "Live as if you were already living for the second time, and as if you had made the mistakes you are about to make now."

The Lessons of History
by Will & Ariel Durant (102 pages)

I first came across this very short book in a podcast I listened between Elon Musk and Lex Fridman. Originally published in 1968, this very readable resource speaks to issues from our day. Quite prophetic, actually. Short chapters, well-written, engaging, and to the point. Here are the main things that stood out for me: "Our knowledge of any past event is always incomplete, probably inaccurate, beclouded by ambivalent evidence and biased historians, and perhaps distorted by our own patriotic or religious partisanship. "Most history is guessing, and the rest is prejudice."" On war: "War is a nation's way of eating. It promotes co-operation because it is the ultimate form of competition." On the declining population, which may have led to the fall of the Roman empire and, indeed, our own? "It is amusing to find Julius Caesar offering (59 B.C.) rewards to Romans who had many children, and forbidding childless women to ride in litters or wear jewelry. Augustus renewed this campaign some forty years later, with like futility. Birth control continued to spread in the upper classes while immigrant stocks from the Germanic North and the Greek or Semitic East replenished and altered the population of Italy. Very probably this ethnic change reduced the ability or willingness of the inhabitants to resist governmental incompetence and external attack." On race: "History is color-blind, and can develop a civilization (in any favorable environment) under almost any skin. [...] It is remarkable how many American Negroes have risen to high places in the professions, arts, and letters in the last one hundred years despite a thousand social obstacles." Compare with luxury beliefs and chronological snobbery: "It is good that new ideas should be heard, for the sake of the few that can be used; but it is also good that new ideas should be compelled to go through the mill of objection, opposition, and contumely; this is the trial heat which innovations must survive before being allowed to enter the human race." After a long discourse on how moral corruption has appeared in every age, especially sexual corruption: "In every age men have been dishonest and governments have been corrupt". "history assures us that civilizations decay quite leisurely." It takes time, but most civilisations fall. On religion: "There is no significant example in history [...] of a society successfully maintaining moral life without the aid of religion." On taxes: "taxation rose to such heights [in ancient Rome] that men lost incentive to work or earn". War, again: "In the last 3,421 years of recorded history only 268 have seen no war." On religion: "We frolic in our emancipation from theology, but have we developed a natural ethic—a moral code independent of religion—strong enough to keep our instincts of acquisition, pugnacity, and sex from debasing our civilization into a mire of greed, crime, and promiscuity? Have we really outgrown intolerance, or merely transferred it from religious to national, ideological, or racial hostilities? Are our manners better than before, or worse?" Very, very good points. Relevant today as ever.

Too Much and Never Enough
by Mary Trump (audiobook)

An, I think, overly misleading exposé on Donald Trump written by his niece who seemed to have an axe to grind. Great writing style—highly engaging and immersive. But not what it claims to be. One could argue she capitalised on her uncle by putting his name and face on display but delivered a memoir on her own family. Especially her hard-hit father. Throughout the story, Donald Trump seemed to me a sideline figure. Her father, the sad protagonist. And finally, she concluded with a bitter barrage against Trump that seemed to come out of nowhere. As an Aussie reader, I have no skin in the game therefore I'd say it wasn't objective, but I'm not sure it ever claimed to be... Who could blame her? Great writing. Overly misleading.

Hillbilly Elegy
by JD Vance (257 pages)

Vice-President Elect, JD Vance's memoir is a page-turner. I first watched the Netflix film, based on the book, and thought the memoir would be a better and deeper dive into the next (potentially) great leader. When I hear him speak, he's a very good orator. When I learned of his story, well, it blew me away. From hillbilly roots to the second to top of U.S. politics; it's quite the climb. Here are the quotes that stood out for me: "From low social mobility to poverty to divorce and drug addiction, my home is a hub of misery. It is unsurprising, then, that we're a pessimistic bunch." "You can walk through a town where 30 percent of the young men work fewer than twenty hours a week and find not a single person aware of his own laziness." A sad reflection indeed. What he grew up learning from his mother and her in-and-out boyfriends: "Never speak at a reasonable volume when screaming will do; if the fight gets a little too intense, it's okay to slap and punch, so long as the man doesn't hit first; always express your feelings in a way that's insulting and hurtful to your partner; if all else fails, take the kids and the dog to a local motel, and don't tell your spouse where to find you—if he or she knows where the children are, he or she won't worry as much, and your departure won't be as effective." "a teacher at my old high school told me recently, "They want us to be shepherds to these kids. But no one wants to talk about the fact that many of them are raised by wolves." On his grandmother: "Mamaw never lost that hope, after more heartache and more disappointment than I could possibly fathom. Her life was a clinic in how to lose faith in people, but Mamaw always found a way to believe in the people she loved." On being a Marine: "Every time the drill instructor screamed at me and I stood proudly; every time I thought I'd fall behind during a run and kept up; every time I learned to do something I thought impossible, like climb the rope, I came a little closer to believing in myself. [...] If I had learned helplessness at home, the Marines were teaching learned willfulness." On discipline: "If you believe that hard work pays off, then you work hard; if you think it's hard to get ahead even when you try, then why try at all?" Belief matters. On leaning on people: "social capital is all around us. Those who tap into it and use it prosper. Those who don't are running life's race with a major handicap." Wow. Great wisdom. On apologies: "they were often used to convince you to lower your guard. [...] I began to understand why I used words as weapons: That's what everyone around me did; I did it to survive. Disagreements were war, and you played to win the game." What I've written hear doesn't do justice to the book as a whole. I say read it, then you'll understand.

In Order To Live
by Yeonmi Park (267 pages)

This memoir reflects the story of a North Korean girl defecting to China at 13 with her mother in the hope for a better life. Instead, she is sold into slavery. After years, she escapes with her mother into South Korea via Mongolia. Today, she is an American citizen, and she is only 31. Here are the points from her story that stood out: "I am most grateful for two things: that I was born in North Korea and that I escaped from North Korea." On the good: "There was no music blaring in the background, no eyes glued to smartphones back then. But there was human intimacy and connection, something that is hard to find in the modern world I inhabit today." "I was taught never to express my opinion, never question anything. I was taught to simply follow what the government told me to do or say or think." Not too unfamiliar, even for us today... "... when my mother sent me off to school she never said, "Have a good day," or even, "Watch out for strangers." What she always said was, "Take care of your mouth."" On "emotional dictatorship": "it's not enough for the government to control where you go, what you learn, where you work, and what you say. They need to control you through your emotions, making you a slave to the state by destroying your individuality, and your ability to react to situations based on your own experience." After being sold in China: "It was a feeling beyond anger. It's still hard to fathom why we went along with all of this, except that we were caught between fear and hope. We were numb, and our purpose was reduced to our immediate needs". On suicide: "I was feeling very strong and calm, because I had already made the decision to kill myself instead of accepting this life. I had lost control of everything else, but this was one last choice I could make." On self-harm: "I rubbed my skin until I bled, and that made me feel a little better. I discovered that physical pain helped me feel less pain inside, and for a while pinching and scratching myself with a rough cloth became a habit. Sometimes it was the only way to escape the aching in my heart." On the drive to survive: "as depressed as I was, I realized that there was a force inside me that would not give up. Maybe it was just anger, or maybe it was an inexplicable sense that my life might mean something someday." When escaping, again, but this time from China into South Korea: "Sometimes I pinched myself so hard that I bruised and bled, because I needed to feel pain to know that this life was real [...] A numbness lingered inside me, like a cold companion that watched me from a distance [...] In North Korea, we don't have words for "depression" or "posttraumatic stress," so I had no idea what those things were or whether I might be suffering from them." But she was. Deeply. What helped her move on? Books. "Once I was at home, all I did was read. I inhaled books like other people breathe oxygen. I didn;t just read for knowledge or pleasure; I read to live. [...] I particularly loved biographies because they were about people who had to overcome obstacles or prejudices to get ahead. They made me think I could make it when nobody else believed in me, when even I didn't believe in myself." Very reminiscent of Henderson's Troubled. To end: "It amazed me how quickly a lie loses its power in the face of truth. Within minutes, something I had believed for many years simply vanished."

American Ulysses
by Ronald White (659 pages)

A long and in-depth biography of the American president, Mexican War veteran, and Civil War general Ulysses S. Grant. I became fascinated with this man after hearing about him in a few of Holiday's books—he comes across as a mild-mannered, disciplined, humble, earnest, and even innocent man who rises to the ranks of the U.S. military and then politics, against his will. It's the first biography I read of him and, as an Australian, it's quite deep as it focuses on very new themes I never encountered living here: the Civil War, U.S. politics, slavery, etc. But I gave it a go. And I liked it. But you've got to commit... Here are a few quotes: "In an earlier era when horses were central to everyday life, people understood that the man whom horses trust is the kind of man who can be trusted." If that was the case, Grant would have been the most trusted man. Surrounded by books, "Grant spent considerable time reading novels." From one of his books: "Now, when I find a man all fair words, I look close to his deeds; for the heart is right and rally [sic] intends to do good, it is generally satisfied to let the conduct speak, instead of the tongue." Yes! Compare this with Peterson below... "Reading novels had enlarged the intellectual and emotional scope of Sam's world. He benefitted from great authors' tutorials in character development, history, moral dilemmas, and decision making." The next is a beautiful story. On his way to see his to-be wife: "Ulysses "struck up a stream, and in an instant the horse was swimming and I being carried down by the current." Later, recalling how he had struggled with the turbulent, foam-flecked water, he acknowledges that "one of my superstitions had always been when I started to go anywhere, or do anything, not to turn back, or stop until the thing intended was accomplished." Holding on for his life, he "headed the horse towards the other bank" and finally reached it." His earlier battle in Mexico "were turning points in the way Grant understood himself. He faced every battle bravely and discovered within himself what he would begin to call "moral courage."" He said, "There is no great sport in having bullets flying about one in every direction but I find they have less horror when among them than when in anticipation." On leadership: "... no passes will be required. In extending this privilege to the men of this command the Col Commanding hopes that his leniency will not be so abused as to make it necessary to retract it. All men when out of Campt should reflect that they are gentlemen—in camp soldiers." ... discipline ceased to be a problem." Humility: "I have been highly honored already by the government and do not ask, or feel that I deserve, anything more in the shape of honors or promotion." On others advocating for his political involvement: "I do not know of anything I have ever done or said which would indicate that I could be a candidate for any office whatever within the gift of the people. [...] Nothing likely to happen would pain em so much as to see my name in connection with a political office." On becoming president: "I have been forced into it in spite of myself. I could not back down without ... leaving the contest for power for the next four years between mere trading politicians, the elevation of whom, no matter which party won, would lose to us largely, the results of the costly war which we have gone through." "As a leader, Grant knew what he did not know. He felt confident in surrounding himself with leaders who knew more that he did in their fields." Equality: "Treat a negro as a citizen and a voter, as he is and must remain, and soon parties will be divided, not on the color line, but on principle." On his trust in others: "Absolutely incapable of servility, he could not suspect other men of fawning sycophancy. The soul of honor and manliness himself, a man who was a stranger to indirection and falsehood, General Grant could not comprehend how men could be dishonorable and false by method." On ending his presidency: "I was never so happy in my life as the day I left the White House. I felt like a boy getting out of school." His last ordeal, dying of cancer and having lost everything financially, was to write his memoirs, published by Mark Twain himself, so that they might not suffer after his death. He toiled until he could no longer, and died a few days after he finished them. A great man.

The Surprising Rebirth of Belief in God
by Justin Brierley (228 pages)

Host of the Unbelievable? podcast, Brierley weaves an excellent series of evidences together, drawing on his years of conversations with religious and sceptic alike, to make the case for God in the modern era. He argues there has been a rise in belief recently. Here are some of the points he makes: "To a large extent, the signs and sacraments of traditional religion have been replaced in our culture by a heightened interest in amorphous forms of new age spirituality, primarily focused on mindfulness and meditation. These are often practiced by those who describe themselves as "spiritual but not religious." At the same time, priests who offer rites of exorcism in the Catholic church say they have seen a significant spike in requests in recent years, a phenomenon they say is linked to the increasing numbers of people who are dabbling in the occult." Quoting scholar N. T. Wright on gender: "The confusion about gender identity is a modern, and now internet-fueled, for of the ancient philosophy of Gnosticism. The Gnostic, one who "knows," has discovered the secret of "who I really am," behind the deceptive outward appearance ... This involves denying the goodness, or even the ultimate reality, of the natural world. Nature, however, tends to strike back, with the likely victims in this case being vulnerable and impressionable youngsters who, as confused adults, will pay the price for their elders' fashionable fantasies." Jordan Peterson: "The fundamental hallmark of belief is how you act, not what you say about what you think." On slavery: "The belief that all people should be treated with inherent dignity and equality of status [...] is so taken for granted [...] that we barely question it. Yet to the majority of previous civilizations, it would have been regarded as bizarre in the extreme. For most of human history the treatment of some types of people as less valuable than others has been the norm." That is, until Christianity came into the picture. To historians, this is demonstrably the case. Christians valued human life much more than their peers; they protected babies, started the first orphanages and hospitals, and advocated against slavery. On science: "science progresses one funeral at a time." Nietzsche: "There is no such thing as science without any presuppositions" ... a philosophy, a "faith," must always be there first of all. so that science can acquire from it a direction, a meaning, a limit, a method, a right to exist. ... We men of knowledge of today, we godless men and antimetaphysicians, we, too, still derive our flame from the fire ignited by a faith millenia old, the Christian faith." Brierley ends with this: "Tides go out and come back in. I believe we are simply living at low tide in the Western world. Rebirth has happened before, and it can happen again. Two thousand years ago a wandering rabbi stood on a beach and called a bunch of fishermen to put down their nets, follow him, and fish for people instead. Together they changed the world. Like them, I believe we are standing on the shores of human history, waiting for a tide that is about to rush back in. Perhaps now is the time to answer his cal again."

The Tiger
by John Vaillant (344 pages)

Recommended by Holiday as one of the top 10 books of the century, I decided to give it a go. And it was good. Top 10? Not for me, no. Great writing style, really draws you in. Descriptive and highly engaging. The idea I came with at the beginning was a man-eating tiger that stalks and kills humans as part of a revenge plot. And it's kind of like that, but ... not. Only two people are stalked and killed, and there are attempts towards others, but not what I thought it would be. Regardless, the way it was written kept me reading. And gave me a deeper appreciation of this very, very intelligent animal that seemingly bears a grudge. Let's look at some quotes: "Fear is not a sin in the taiga, but cowardice is." "The tiger has been a fellow traveler in our evolutionary journey and, in this sense, it is our peer. In Asia, there is no recess of human memory in which there has not—somewhere—lurked a tiger. As a result, this animal looms over the collective imagination of native and newcomer alike." "The tiger will see you a hundred times before you see him once." "Russians call man-eating tigers cannibals". Why? because of the esteem they have with one another. It is not uncommon for Russians in rural areas to pass tigers without fear, and vice versa. "Both males and females can be ferocious boundary keepers, but a male tiger will guard his domain as jealously as any modern gangster or medieval lord. [...] If threatened or attacked, these animals have been known to climb trees to swat at helicopters and run headlong into gunfire." On surviving a tiger attack: "The tiger roared again," he said. "He was about forty yards away and I saw him running towards me. The word 'fear' doesn't really describe the feeling in that situation. It's more like an animal horror—a terror that's genetically inherent in you. Something happened to me then: I went into a stupor; I was paralyzed, and I had only one thought: I am going to die right now. very clearly, I realized that I was going to die." On the utility of rage: "Over time, I realized that if you have accumulated more anger inside yourself than a tiger has in him, the tiger will be afraid of you. Really, quite literally so. When a tiger is coming at you, you can gauge very well by his facial expression what he wants from you. You can judge by his eyes and ears. One cannot read bears like that. So, a tifer is coming toward you: if you see that his ears are down, that's not a good sign. Then you have to look at him in the eye with all the rage you can muster and the tiger will stop and back off. You don't shout or scream—just look him in the eye, it with such hate that he would turn around and go away. After one, two, three times, they leave you alone." Vaillant compares this Russian ranger's statements to Shakespeare in Henry V: "But when the blast of war blows in our ears, Then imitate the action o the tiger; Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood, Disguise fair nature with hard-favoured rage. Then lend the eye a terrible aspect."

Surprised By Joy
by C.S. Lewis (277 pages)

C.S. Lewis's autobiography, recounting his journey from atheism to Christianity. He talks about his early childhood and adolescence up until his early adulthood and faith crises. It's worth a read if you want to get inside the mind of such a great thinker, but if you want something more comprehensive and objective (and very well-written), check out McGrath's biography of the great man: C.S. Lewis: A Life. Here are a few quotes that stood out for me: "at the age of six, seven, and eight - I was living almost entirely in my imagination; or at least [...] the imaginative experience of those years now seems to me more important than anything else." On his terrible experiences at a boarding school: "Life at a vile boarding-school is [...] a good preparation for the Christian life, that it teaches one to live by hope. Even, in a sense, by faith, for at the beginning of each term, home and the holidays are so far off that it is as hard to realise them as to realise heaven." How many of us have experienced something like this? On his losing of faith: "I was soon [...] 'altering "I believe" to "one does feel"'. And oh, the relief of it! [...] One reason why the Enemy found this so easy was that, without knowing it, I was already desperately anxious to get rid of my religion". On lethargy: "I was tired. Consciousness itself was becoming the supreme evil; sleep, the prime good. To lie down, to be out of the sound of voices, to pretend and grimace and evade and slink no more, that was the object of all desire - if only there were not another morning ahead - if only sleep could last forever." On his two lives: "I am telling a story of two lives. They had nothing to do with each other: oil and vinegar, a river running beside a canal, Jekyll and Hyde. Fix your eye on either and it claims to be the sole truth." Manifestation? "It is a curious truth, noticed by many writer's, that good fortune is nearly always followed by more good fortune, and bad, by more bad." And to finish, one of the most influential concepts in my own life and practice: 'chronological snobbery': "'Why - damn it - it's medieval,' I exclaimed; for I still had all the chronological snobbery of my period and used the names of earlier periods as terms of abuse. [... A friend of mine] made short work of [it], the uncritical acceptance of the intellectual climate common to our own age and the assumption that whatever has gone out of date is on that account discredited." I think this concept has pierced many of my thoughts, diving into the way I conceive of the past and the realisation that we might be devolving in some areas while we advance in others. Well played, Lewis.

A Christmas Carol
by Charles Dickens (126 pages)

This work never ceases to put a smile on my face. A timeless story written in the 1800s about the snare Christmas can become if you don't keep it well. It follows the story of Ebenezer Scrooge who is a rich and pathetic, hateful (and hated) fellow, alone at Christmas. He is visited by a few ghosts - one called The Ghost of Christmas Past; another of Christmas Present; and a final of Christmas Yet To Come - and he is offered a choice: to change of reap the rots of his labour. It is an ordinary story of a man who was once as good as anybody else but who, over his lifetime, made choices that pulled him further away from humanity. Psychologists call what happens in the end, 'Quantum Change' and in the literature this is usually referencing a kind of religious or spiritual experience. That certainly happens in this case. Let's check out a few quotes: "It's not my business [...] It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's. Mine occupies me constantly." On his visitation: "The truth is, that he tried to be smart, as a means of distracting his own attention, and keeping down his terror; for the spectre's voice disturbed the very marrow in his bones." "The more he thought, the more perplexed he was; and the more he endeavoured not to think, the more he thought." On Scrooge trying to blot out the light of his past: "'What!' exclaimed the Ghost, 'would you so soon put out, with worldly hands, the light I give? Is it not enough that you are one of those whose passions made this [candle] cap, and force me through whole trains of years to wear it low upon my brow!'" Where Scrooge asks a ghost why evil is being done in the name of God, here's the Ghost's reply: "There are some upon this earth of yours [...] who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name, who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us." And what a beautiful ending: "Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him."

The Great Divorce
by C.S. Lewis (146 pages)

This is one of those books that I return to regularly, reading it every year or so. Lewis does a spectacular job at imagining a journey from Hell to Heaven, speaking through the observations of the protagonist as he witnesses conversations of 'people' from Heaven trying to chat with those visiting from Hell. These Spirits' main goal to to make the Ghosts (those from Hell) aware that they don't need to stay there - they can choose Heaven, but it will hurt. They have to step through the land on the way to Heaven and this means, because they're ghosts, they're not strong enough to interact with the scenery. In fact, even walking on the grass hurts ("It will hurt at first, until your feet are hardened. Reality is harsh to the feet of shadows."). But the more they go, the stronger they get. The more that stop focusing on themselves, the more they become Spirit. This is a work that can be quoted to no end, so here I'll just include a few quotes that stood out for me: "a jealous man, drifting and unresisting, reaches a point at which he believes lies about his best friend: a drunkard reaches a point at which (for the moment) he actually believes that another glass will do him no harm. The beliefs are sincere in the sense that they do occur as psychological events in the man's mind. If that's what you mean by sincerity they are sincere [...] But errors which are sincere in that sense are not innocent." "Hell is a state of mind—ye never said a truer word. And every state of mind, left to itself, every shutting up of the creature within the dungeon of its own mind—is, in the end, Hell. But Heaven is not a state of mind. Heaven is reality itself." On those who choose their own Hell: "There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will even miss it." The next one convicts: "There have been men before who got so interested in proving the existence of God that they care nothing for God Himself ... as if the good Lord had nothing to do but exist! There have been some who were so occupied in spreading Christianity that they never gave a thought to Christ. Man! Ye see it in smaller matters. Did ye never know a lover of books that with all his first editions and signed copies had lost the power to read them? Or an organiser of charities that had lost all love for the poor? It is the subtlest of all the snares." And we'll end on one that's applicable to our age more than we'd like to admit: "Every disease that submits to a cure shall be cured: but we will not call blue yellow to please those who insist on still having jaundice, nor make a midden of the world's garden for the sake of some who cannot abide the smell of roses." Wow. Yes. Read this if you're ready to be convicted. But don't read it just to pull pithy quotes (as, I guess, I've done); read it to immerse yourself in the narrative and see yourself in the pages.

And that's it. Thank you so much for sticking it out.